3/9 Awful

What an awful day!!

It’s my friend’s birthday yesterday and I just wanted to write something on his wall in facebook.  I wrote a simple sentence like “Happy Birthday, how are you?”  After writing it, I went through all messages in his wall, I felt strange and awful, how come everyone wrote “I miss you” after happy birthday??  Some people even said “happy birthday wherever you are.”  I had a really bad feeling, he was one of my friends from America but his dad was working in HK, and he came to visit his dad quite often before.  I have known him for 4-5 years already, we talked quite often until he moved to Taipei for studying Chinese 2 years ago.   As he was not living in HK, I just met him a few times but he found me every time when he came to HK.  The last time I met him was in Jan 2009 when he was having holiday from school in Taiwan. We went to one of my favorite Japanese restaurant near my office to have lunch (I just had lunch there on Tuesday) and he told me he got a beautiful Taiwanese girlfriend in school.  I didn’t know his girlfriend, but I sent a message to her yesterday because I didn’t want to guess things wrongly, but the answer was heartbreaking, she told me he passed away.  I was at the office and my tears were out instantaneously. It’s really hard for me to accept it.  Since I went to Taipei in June, I sent a message to him in May but I didn’t get his reply, I just thought he was busy or his girlfriend didn’t want him to meet any girls, so I forgot it.  I would never think he was not here already.  I sent a message to a dead person!!!!  I feel awful!!!

Actually, I have looked up a bit of his message in May, I just saw his girlfriend writing “I love you, I miss you” everyday with some daily stories.  I didn’t think too much, or I just guessed they just broke up?? I did feel strange as his profile picture was still with his girlfriend but I didn’t follow up.

At the end, I sent a message to his cousin as I guessed it wouldn’t be a good time to ask her girlfriend for a reason.  I really wanted to know the fact, I guess there must be some accident but the answer turned out was heartbreaking.  His cousin told me after a big fight with his girlfriend, he jumped out from the window on 23 March.  I really can’t believe it.  He was always a positive person as far as I know, how could he end up his life in this stupid way? I really don’t understand.  He was a Christian as well, there are not many westerners called themselves as a Christians and going to the church regularly, but he was the one.  We shared the faith in God sometimes, and he told me how God healed his mother’s cancer before.  Why could he commit suicide?? I felt better in the afternoon as I thought we could meet again in the heaven anyway but now I don’t know…It’s only God knows!! Of course I want he is in heaven with God for sure.  If I ever meet you in the heaven in the future, I have to ask you personally why were you so stupid?

The whole story was totally unacceptable for me.  He was a very serious person, he told me his parents and brother got married very young and happy.  So he wanted it too, he told me there was no point for him to wait if he found the girl he truly loved.  He told me in Feb that he really loved his girlfriend and just engaged with her although she was just 21 years old and not yet graduated.  He told me they would marry in June, and then he would go back to US, and her girlfriend with move to US with her after her graduation. Why?? Why he didn’t wait for it?

My friend helped me to search a newspaper about his death, and I saw his blood on the floor, the window he jumped out, his body in coffin as well as his girlfriend crying hopelessly.  He thought his girlfriend cheated him, but she didn’t do so and she is still in love with him now.  She writes message to his facebook almost every day until now.  Why he was so stupid to end up his life in this heartbreaking way?? Life is so beautiful, isn’t it 

Now whenever I close my eyes, I see him....He was only 26 years old if he were still here!! And the last conversation we talked in MSN was he told me he's going to sleep and bye.  It's in Feb, I didn't know that goodbye meant goodbye forever.

He died 3 days before I took my final professional exam, that’s why I didn’t read the news, if I read it I would know that as the newspaper disclosed his full name.  I know I couldn’t help much even I knew it earlier, but it’s just a really bad time for me to know that truth.  I am going to Australia for an uncertain long period soon, I kept saying goodbye to many friends and family recently, I am so worried about that, I am so scared I can't see them again after I say goodbye to them.  I know I am silly but this feeling is so awful….Don’t tell me this kind of thing will happen more and more as we’re getting older.  For God sake, I am only in my 20s’, I can’t really handle it…This is the second person I knew who died, the first one is my grandpa, and I still remember the feeling.  I visited my other grandparents last weekends, and they were old, I am so scared they will leave me when I am in Australia……

I love you all my dearest friends and family, please promise me to take good care of yourself!! I don’t want to lose anyone.  I promise I will take care of myself very good too!!

Loren: Although you did that silly thing, but I will always remember your orange hair, blue eyes and lovely smile.  Rest in peace, my dearest friend.

12/8 Last Month in HK

10/8 帶領我

我的時候，我根本無得say no, 但2年後的今天, 我學會真正的順服, 亦都唔會say no, 因為祂在我身上的安排實在太奇妙, 一步一步走在恩典的路上~thanks god!!

【帶領我】
詩集：黃國倫03‧帶領我，2
詞、曲：黃國倫

Taipei Family Trip 2010 Day 4 (21 Jun)

Taipei Family Trip 2010 Day 4 (21 Jun)

今日是最後一日在台北了, pack好晒野將d行李呢去hotel lobby辦退房手續, 費便寄存d行李,唔知係我d普通話流定係點, front desk個哥哥仔無啦啦同我講英文, 哈哈~~不過佢英文都幾好, 係台灣人來講應該係勁好了~

之後去了附近吃早餐, 然後就打算坐的士去總統府參觀, 其實總統府就是在酒店附近, 但爸爸媽媽不想行, 所以就坐的士了, 好好笑地個的士司機又同我地開個價, 但最後佢又按o左個錶, 發現原來按錶真的比講價平的!!!

呢個的士司機好多野講, 又係度認叻咁啦, 又話佢自己有美國passport, 成日周圍去旅行, 而家只是返來台灣渡假而已, 唔知佢邊句真邊句假啦, 但佢竟然真係show o左佢係美國的身分證比我地睇~阿爸同佢好似傾得好投契咁tim~~之後呢個的士司機話今日都唔想周圍接客, 叫我地比NT1200佢, 佢車我地周圍去玩, 其實我就唔prefer的, 因為今日都只不過是市內參選而已, 坐捷運邊度都去到, 但因為仲剩返d台幣, 而daddy & mommy又好想坐的士, 所以就book了他的taxi了~

去到總統府在指定時間是可以給港澳同胞入去參觀的, 不過好多台灣人都唔知道, 包括我地的的士司機在內~

只要在出面出示你的passport/id做個登記, 再過埋security check就可以入內部份地方參選了, 不過不可以自己亂行, 因為這個始終是總統府, 亦是總統辦工的地方, 所以佢地會assign一位義工來guide住我地去參觀!!

原來台灣係好耐之前比荷蘭人統治過, 真係唔知tim~~其實個tour幾好, 個位義工auntie是退休教師來的, 佢的普通話講得很清楚, 佢講了很多總統府的建築特色及歷史比我聽, 我呢d building人, 一聽到d建築野即時醒晒~不過入面唔影得相的~

台北的地標-101大樓, 曾經是世界最最高的樓, 但剛剛被杜拜塔追過了, 而我又上星期先去完杜拜塔, 感覺真係差好遠...101即時流了好多~對於呢D high class shopping mall一d興趣都無, 只係在出面影幾張相就走了~

之後我們去了貓空, 本身應該是坐纜車上去的, 不過星期一有regular maintenance, 所以無得坐, 司機就車了我們去一間了, 環境不錯...但要在這裡嘆茶勁貴, 所以我地只是叫小菜食, 平d~~

反而呢餐是so far咁多餐最好味, 特別係個炸豆腐整得外脆內軟..very good!!

係間茶莊外可以遠眺到貓空的纜車站~

我地食緊的菜就係下面種啦, 不過daddy質疑咁細塊田點serve咁多人~

竟然有來自聖經關於愛的經文...唔通佢地係基督徒??

食完飯, 老闆竟然免費請我地品茶, 真係好人啦, 當然佢想我地試完後幫襯佢買返多少啦, 但佢賣的茶葉勁貴, 所以我地都無買到!!  後來老闆話夜晚好多年輕人喜歡駕車上來飲茶, 傾計~~估唔到台灣的青少年人咁健康!!

本身來台北市動物園是想看一看四川送給台灣的一對熊貓, 點知去到竟然要預約, 仲要full o左tim, 所以我地最後都是到此一遊算, 沒有入去了~

之後去了豆腐之鄉-深坑!! 又是一條食街, 你睇阿媽笑得幾開心~~

只可惜頭先食到很飽, 只能食下呢D甜品, 味道普通啦...呢度有好多野食買, 不過可惜大部份野都係不含防腐劑, 所以擺唔耐, 拎唔到返hk~

突然下起大雨來, 我們即時跳上車, 台灣的雨下得很大~~

下午的行程都是吃..吃...和吃...勁飽~~今次到食鰻魚了, 司機話好正...不過佢的鰻魚都我心目中的鰻魚有d分別, 我喜歡日式多d啦~~~

呢間野真係好出名下wor, 貼埋馬英九張相係度~~又有d名人簽名咁囉~

之後又去食了..今次到食豬腳, 不過我唔食的, 爸爸媽媽都好飽, 所以都係外賣走一陣到機場食~

之後去了我們最後的一個景點-圓山大飯店, 的士司機幫我地3個人一起合照先~~呢個trip影得最多的都係我同mommy, 因為mommy唔識用相機的原因, 我同daddy係無咩合照ga~~通常都是我幫佢地2個影,or阿爸幫我地影~

圓 山大飯店原址為日治時代的神社，光復後，在此建立「台灣大飯店」並由蔣宋美齡夫人創立之「台灣敦睦聯誼會」管轄，作為外賓接待場所。民國41年，改名成立 圓山大飯店!!台北圓山大飯店曾接待過無數中外元首與世界知名人物，包含前美國總統艾森豪、雷根、柯林頓、新加坡總理李光耀、前約旦國王胡笙、泰國國王蒲 美蓬、韓國前總統朴正熙、越南前總統阮文紹、前沙烏地阿拉伯國王費瑟、前菲律賓總統艾奎若夫人。

真係幾有中國色彩wor~~

雨下到勁大, 只可以留在hotel lobby避雨, 呢度就係我每晚的一個蒲點, 就是上網的地方啦...有免費電腦及INTERNET~~

係hotel等o左勁耐, 等雨稍細了少少就是閃了~~

巴士上...10年前第一次去台灣覺得台灣勁多電單車, 10年後依然仲係咁多~

勁早去到機場...check in gate都未開, 台北機場好細, 無野行ge~

勁早...gate前無人等~~

我的passport+入台證...好煩咁多HK人去都要apply visa, 明賺錢, 個chop又吸係入台證度, 本passport完全沒有去過台灣的一點痕跡!

機上的晚餐勁豐富!!  今次呢班flight係有史以來坐我隔離的唔係女人, 師奶, 而係一個後生西人...哈哈~~

今個trip順利完成, 不過後來返到HK先發覺比公司扣了我4日no pay leave..好唔抵...因為我只請了星期五&星期一2日假, 本身星期六日都唔洗返工ga la, 咁都扣埋我...真係好唔抵...好衰的公司-香港政府!!!因為無啦啦4日no pay,無o左2千幾蚊...成個trip貴晒~~

Taipei Family Trip 2010 Day 3 (20 Jun)

Taipei Family Trip 2010 Day 3 (20 Jun)

有些人會問我點解帶住爸爸媽媽都唔跟團, 我都有考慮過呢個OPTION, 不過我實在太討厭趕鴨仔式的旅遊團, 加上爸爸媽媽也想有一個比較relax的holiday, 唔洗趕到死, 同埋我地3個人報團的話又安排唔到3人房比我地, 我又唔知要同邊個人一起訓, 咁就爽快自由行好了!!反正我們也是比較愛自由, 不用追景點的人~~

今日我地的行程是很relax的只是市內參觀!!


早餐是在hotel附近食的..平野,返而ok好味..


之後我們打算行去中正紀念堂, 距離hotel around 15-20mins的路程~
經過一個好大的公園叫二二八和平公園!

只知道這個公園日日據時代由日本人計劃興建的, 難怪有D似之前係北海道&東北見過的公園有點相似了~~

後來才知二二八事件，是台灣於1947年2月底發生的大規模民眾抗暴及其後3月至5月間國民黨政府派遣軍隊對台灣人民進行一連串鎮壓屠殺的慘劇。該事件的導火線是1947年2月27日，台北市的一件私煙查緝血案而引爆衝突，翌日並觸發台北大批市民的暴動、示威、罷工和罷市。同日，市民包圍台灣省行政長官公署的抗議，遭駐署的衛兵攻擊，從此該事件由請願轉變而為對抗公署的政治性運動，並觸發由國民政府接收台灣後因貪腐失政所累積的民眾抗暴、省籍衝突。抗暴與衝突在數日內蔓延全台灣，最終導致國軍部隊鎮壓屠殺。此事件中，造成許多傷亡；而死亡人數有少於一千人至萬餘人乃至數萬人的概估，最後政府只好透過道歉、賠錢的方式加以賠償!! 不過我地都只不過是路過而已, 公園很大, 太熱, 只再外圍睇了一陣就行了~

我地一路行去中正紀念堂時有個阿伯來搭訕, 問我地是從哪裡來, 然後發表了很多中國內地和台灣兩岸關係的一些偉論, 老實講我的興趣不大, 但爸爸同佢就傾得很投契, 伯伯仲不斷介紹我地去邊度買書抵, 後來臨別時佢同我地講原來佢是在台灣大學的Professor, 真係失敬晒~


到o左中正紀念堂, 之前陳水扁以及教育部的堅持下, 原本懸掛「大中至正」字樣的牌樓, 改為「自由廣場」四字, 又將國立中正紀念堂管理處改制為「國立臺灣民主紀念館」, 後來馬英九上任後又將佢變返國立中正紀念堂, 所以我開頭以為門口的排扁已經變返「大中至正」, 但原來都仲係「自由廣場」!!


入面有個戲劇院, 建築很有中國特式!!


最喜歡坐樓梯影相...哈~


烈日當空...好熱.....


中正紀念堂是為了紀念中華民國第一任總統蔣介石，他於1975年逝世，次年行政院就破土開建中正紀念堂，設計師是設計圓山大飯店的楊卓成。


呢個就係蔣介石!


入面個museum, 爸爸睇得好有興趣, 但我就睇到好sleepy了~


紀念堂出面..好有中國色彩呀, 其實我覺得中國的建築是很靚的, 絕不比歐洲差...

去完呢個中正紀念堂後, Daddy, mummy又話累了, 所以他們決定返hotel休息下, 而我就自己一個人出去行下一d佢地唔會去的地方行下, shopping一番, 約好5點在hotel room等~


去了西門町, D人話呢個地方係好受年輕人歡迎, 好似HK的旺角&銅鑼灣一樣~~果然真係好多人呀, 行下陣, 不過就無買野啦, 因為大部份野都係HK有得買!!


竟然有Etude House, 裝修同價錢同首爾的差不多, 不過阿妹剛剛由首爾回來, 所以都無野要買~


有個古舊建築-西門紅樓, 原是臺灣第一座官方興建的公營市場!!


本旅遊書介紹呢個謝謝魷魚焿勁似碗仔翅, 味道OK, 不過餐廳的衛生並不如理想~


見到好多小朋友, 唔知佢地係台灣人定係韓國人了, 只知佢地係度支持Super Junior!!


之後去了中山站, 發現在台北有勁多新光三越, 唔知想點~~

特別來到中山站是想買在台灣很出名的假眼睫毛, 去了一間本旅遊書介紹的, 本身想買2盒的, 比了2盒錢, 佢都比我check o左的~~但後來返到hotel只見個袋得一盒...我肯定無跌過...o個間一定是黑店, 被騙了!!慘~~哪間野叫恆志美容用品專賣店!!大家小心!!只怪自己走時無check清楚!!


台北有一個好處是係Metro下有很多地下街connect晒d stations, 於是乎就我就由山山站下去台北站啦...反而係地下街度有d平野可以買到~

就係咁一個人在台北鬧市行了一個下午, 其實一個人去旅行都幾自由, 自己想點就點都真係幾好~

行到個人都好累了, 所以就先返酒店休息一會兒, 之後再同爸爸媽媽出去...媽媽一直都對士林夜市充滿著奇望. 由未出發時已經講o左一定要去了...

雖然捷運有一個叫士林站的, 不過士林夜市就偏偏在劍潭站....


我地都知一定會好多人啦, 所以就早o左去, 但都已經好多人了~~


入面真係勁迫人, 勁多野食, 但好似檔檔都差不多咁, 爸爸見到咁多人都唔想入去, 但阿媽又好想去...最後都去o左~~

周圍都係人, 又開住爐, 勁熱....


是但入了一間食, 佢有個好處就是你可以入完去之後, 再去第2間鋪頭買野過來食, 只是如果o個間鋪頭都有o個樣野買就唔好啦~

至於d野食就真係麻麻地, overall來講台北的小食都不是我的喜歡的口味,加上衛生情況太恐怖了, 呢度食緊o個度又見到隻蟑螂行過, 咩野胃口都無晒啦~ 


離開食街後有條好似香港女人街/廟街的野, 勁多人, 本身想行一陣的, 但一係個頭度就見到有d平的野食可以買返HK做手信, 買完後拎住好多野,就更加唔想再行了,之後就番返台北車站, 爸爸對行街無興趣, 所以佢先返房休息, 我就同媽媽去附近行街shopping了~~